


Lie our way to Heaven

by Inu_Sama



Category: The Good Place (TV)
Genre: Afterlife, Death, Demons, F/M, Heaven & Hell, Slow To Update, Supernatural - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-18
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2019-01-19 00:50:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12399702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inu_Sama/pseuds/Inu_Sama
Summary: Eleanor was fairly certain these people were nuts.





	1. The Good Place, you say?

Eleanor was fairly certain these people were nuts. She followed Michael through the tranquil streets of ‘the Good Place’, only half listening to the Architect as she observed the people milling about. They were so… happy. It was weird. “Eleanor? Are you alright?” Michael asked, resting an aged hand on her shoulder. For some reason the contact sent an unpleasant bolt of electricity through her and she shrugged the appendage off. He looked slightly hurt about it so she quickly plastered a smile on her face and tried to smooth things over. She couldn’t give away her secret, the fact she wasn’t meant to be here in the first place.

“Sorry, no I’m fine. It’s just a lot to process, that’s all.” she replied, hoping the Architect didn’t push the subject. It felt like he was far less benign than his character let on and she didn’t want to make him suspicious. She felt the tightness in her chest release when he just smiled and gestured for them to move on with the tour. She was safe, for now. After a few moments of walking - this place wasn’t that big, to be honest - they arrived at an oddly shaped building that looked more like a children’s playhouse than something she would live in. 

She tried not to squint at the offensively yellow paint as she turned to Michael in question. For a second it looked like he was smirking from the corner of her eye, but when she looked at him he was simply smiling at her. Smiling seemed to be his default state, and from experience Eleanor knew that was more dangerous than someone constantly glaring at you. That one seemingly happy expression could be hiding all sorts of secrets. And it unnerved her to no end that she was the recipient of such a dubious thing. Her thoughts only proved, in her mind, that she didn’t belong here anymore than satan did.

Michael made a sweeping gesture towards the hideous pile of concrete that was trying to resemble a house. It failed miserably and looked more like a unicorn had thrown up. “This will be your home. Each home is tailored to a person’s ideal living space and this is yours.” He finished excitedly, like a child showing off a drawing they were proud of. She hated every bit of it. “Oh, I love it! I always wished for a place like this.” She said instead, relying on her ability to lie. Really, she should have been an actress. “I’m glad, but we still have the inside to see yet. Oh, I really think you’re going to like it.” Michael prompted, moving toward the bright red front door. Eleanor tried not to retch as she approached the heinous creation.

The sound of water caught her attention and she looked over to see a mansion bigger than the Buckingham Palace, various elaborate fountains the centrepiece of the vast gardens that seemed to stretch on for miles. “Holy shirt!” She paused, running over in her mind what she wanted to say and what had actually come out of her mouth. “Fork, shirt, punt, beach…..” She said experimentally to herself, Michael watching her in confusion. Then understanding lit up his features and he pressed his lips together in disapproval. “You can’t swear here, this is the Good Place, after all.”

Ellenor froze, her blood turning to ice in her veins as his tone registered in her mind. She had just forked up big time. In her shock she had let her guard down in front of him, forgetting where she was and who she was pretending to be. There was the faintest sound of a snort, but she must have imagined it because Michael was back to his default setting when she looked over. “Come, I’ll show you the inside. You can meet your neighbour, Tahani, later.” Eleanor nodded numbly and followed the architect inside to what was possibly the worst combination of scandinavian styled furniture with… ”Oh my god….is that...?” Ellenor gestured to the pictures of her worst nightmare hung up all around the room. 

Michael nodded, “Yes, our records say that you love clowns so…” He swept an arm out to indicate the entire house, a seemingly sinister smile on his face. “We put them everywhere, do you like it?” He asked eagerly, hands once again held behind his back after he smoothed out the nonexistent wrinkles on his checkered suit. Ellenor wanted to scream, not sure if she was frustrated or scared out of her mind. She turned to Michael, projecting a delighted but calm exterior as she lied her ass off. This was going to be harder than she thought.


	2. Panic! At the Good Place part 1

There were flying shrimp, just like in her dream but she was pretty sure this wasn’t a dream. Though the blue and yellow zig-zags were hilarious and Chidi’s constipated face only made it all the sweeter. Then he looked down at her own plain grey sweats and ratty t-shirt and frowned, turning suspicious eyes towards her. “Why aren’t you…..like the rest of us?” He asked lowly, waving an exasperated hand towards himself and his horrible ensemble. Eleanor held back a grimace and tried for ‘i’m just as surprised as you, Chidi!’ but by the groan she got - she wasn’t successful. “It was you wasn’t it? What did you do?” He asked, putting his hands on his hips like some disappointed pet owner.

Eleanor narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms defensively. “What makes you think I did anything?” Truthfully she knew this was her fault - she was the only anomaly in the system, it had to be her. But there was no way she was going to admit that, especially where someone else might overhear. It was dangerous enough to let the man in on her biggest secret since that time in 91’ that shall never be mentioned. She still couldn’t look at a fire-hydrant the same way. “There are forking  _ shrimp  _ flying through the sky and giant bugs tearing up the lawn, Eleanor!” She shuddered out of her thoughts as Chidi exploded, waving his arms frantically like he didn’t know what to do with them in his anger. At one point she thought he was going to hit her, but he just locked them by his side with a clenched jaw. “You did this. You just couldn’t get over your jealousy from last night and it broke the system.” 

He pointed an accusatory finger at her and Eleanor gripped her shirt so hard under her folded arms she couldn’t feel her fingers anymore. He was right and it hurt, she couldn’t defend herself because she knew he was right. She tried to breathe through the panic and fear that threatened to throw her overboard as Chidi continued speaking. “You better fess up to Michael before something even worse happens.” That was the last thing he said before slamming the front door shut and leaving her in the horrible clown infested living room as she tried not to cry. She’d been yelled at before, been slapped and kicked and punched. But at least then she could brush it off as  _ their  _ problem, not hers. Now she had no one to blame but herself and it hurt. She sunk to her knees as she teetered on the edge of a panic attack, breath coming in short gasps. Was Chidi going to expose her? She didn’t want to go to the Bad Place, she refused to.

She needed to be better, stronger. She needed to make them believe she belonged here, with them. A plan started to form in her mind and Eleanor felt all the better for it. It didn’t matter what she had to do, there was no way she would be going to the bad place. A small, dark part of her relaxed slightly at the new direction she would be taking.  _ First things first though _ …. Eleanor stood with her back straight and shoulders back. “Janet.” She whispered, refusing to flinch in surprise when the A.I. appeared in front of her. “Hello, what can I do for you, Eleanor?” She asked, hands clasped in front of her calmly. Eleanor worked to mirror that calmness and asked: “Janet, do you have to report anything I do to Michael? Is there some sort of confidentiality between you and someone like me?”

Janet smiled, seemingly knowing, but that could just be Eleanor’s paranoia. “No, I do not have to report to Michael on anything that does not conflict with the integrity of the Good Place. Yes, there is a private browsing mode that can be activated with the code name; ‘Lying is Bad’.” She smiled again, a serene and friendly upturn of the lips. It was something one would expect of a Good Place A.I. like Janet. But the ‘private browser’ did sound suspiciously like a loophole and Eleanor was nothing if not fond of exploiting the rules to fit her needs. “Lying is Bad” She immediately intonned and Janet straightened as a light flashed in her eyes before returning to normal. Eleanor thought that the words were chosen to make someone feel guilty for wanting some privacy, preventing them from keeping anything from Michael. In other words it meant Michael couldn’t access those records. “What would you like to know?” Eleanor grinned.

**Author's Note:**

> Heyo!   
> Hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> Any suggestions? Maybe we could brainstorm on motivations, character reactions, plot lines? Critiques? universe lore? It keeps me motivated to keep writing as I always start of with only a vague idea of what I want - which would leave a lot up to debate!
> 
> So come! Discuss with me! I would highly appreciate it!


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